“My dog hates being left alone and has a tendency to cry and fuss when I leave the house, but over the past year her anxiety seems to have gotten out of hand. I often come home to find her destroying something or chewing on cushions or shoes. When I get home I get an almost hysterical welcome. As I work from home I don’t have to leave my dog alone very often and I’m only gone for a few hours in the evening. Is there anything I can do to make her more comfortable and why is she experiencing this anxiety?”
Separation anxiety is common and there are many theories about its underlying causes. Some behaviorists believe that it is a sign that dogs want to be pack leaders and are challenged by the fact that they cannot control their owners’ movements when they go out. The rationale is that they become anxious because they don’t even know where their owners are and can’t control them. Others believe that dogs simply feel lonely and bored without anyone around. How easy it is to ease your pet’s anxiety depends on its personality. And don’t forget: pets are pack animals and naturally need company (so getting a second pet often reverses this quickly). You can try different methods, but this is a problem that requires professional help…
Firstly, avoid reinforcing your dog’s anxiety by giving him reassuring words before you leave or making a fuss when you return – this is the golden rule.
This is more likely to reinforce your pet’s belief that there is something worrying about when you go out — and actually cause stress (“Oh, that’s her scary voice. ‘Going out’ must be bad!”). You know what happens? Every time they hear the sound of your voice when you go out, they know you’re going out and immediately become anxious. Or they sense the difference in the sound and become anxious. I make a conscious effort to run in and out of the house and garage so my dogs don’t worry. They know I’m somewhere and I’ll be back, but it’s just me. (Donna)
When you go out, always stay calm. Give your dog something interesting to do. Once your dog has calmed down a bit, he will prefer to keep you busy, for example by trying to get the lever out of a toy, rather than tearing the cushion. When you return, greet your dog calmly and ignore his hysterical behavior, which, by the way, encourages him to pee. That’s why I don’t recommend this kind of greeting at all. If possible, lead your dog to obedience training, encouraging him to concentrate. Also, don’t forget to use the “crate” when you are away for a very short time, if you use it correctly. That means that the dog calms down there, seeks it, and likes the crate (or “artificial den”). Sometimes, when we are training and communicating, we forget to use the unique dog instinct that God gave to our dogs. I don’t recommend putting them in a cage for more than 2-3 hours (depending on the size of the dog and the size of his bladder) see Crate training here.
I have actually “trained” the kittens to not “react” to me coming in and out of the room, and have done so many times so that they don’t get so “upset” that their eardrums burst when I’m there and back again. When I come in and out and in and out again, they get used to knowing for sure I’ll be back and they think they’ll be okay until I do.
Some trainers suggest that owners of anxious dogs diffuse their dog’s expectations by instilling an outside/in routine as mentioned earlier. This technique involves going outside for a minute and then coming back in. Or putting on your coat and then not going outside. The idea behind this is that the dog becomes confused as to whether you are the one causing the anxiety… By breaking or confusing the rules, the dog can’t keep it at a peak, so he starts to let it go. You’re also confusing the amount of time.
Anxiety is not limited to mammals or relatively complex animals. Studies of very simple organisms have shown that they can also feel anxiety. And one study of sea snails found that they learned to expect small, regular shocks and developed chemical reactions in anticipation. The snails only became calmer after they were allowed to gaze undisturbed at some seaweed for long periods of time.
